<![CDATA[Tim Hawkins Poetry

<![CDATA[Tim Hawkins Poetry - Blog]]>Wed, 05 Jul 2023 14:04:22 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Books & Brews: Always a great combination (What could go wrong?)]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:30:30 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/books-brews-always-a-great-combination-what-could-go-wrong Local Books/Local Brews at Craft Beer Cellar, Grand Rapids, Michigan, December 22, 2019 (Thanks to Ted Jauw for the image and for organizing)

]]><![CDATA[Reading with Kurt Luchs at Michigan News Agency, Kalamazoo]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:21:16 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/january-03rd-2020Reading with Kurt Luchs at Michigan News Agency, Kalamazoo, Michigan, December 11, 2019 (Thanks to Dean Margaret Hauck for the images)

]]><![CDATA[Poetry Night at Flying Bear Books]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:13:05 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/poetry-night-at-flying-bear-booksPoetry Night Featured Guest at Flying Bear Books, Newaygo, Michigan, December 4, 2019 (Thanks to Nancy Ross-Flanigan Pokerwinski for the photo)

]]><![CDATA[Read Local Author's Market at Flying Bear Books and Gallery 37]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:05:39 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/read-local-authors-market-at-flying-bear-books-and-gallery-37Read Local Author's Market at Flying Bear Books and Gallery 37, Newaygo, Michigan, November 30, 2019 (Thanks to Nancy Ross-Flanigan Pokerwinski for the photos)

]]><![CDATA[KYSO Flash Accidents of Light Anthology Poetry Reading]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:02:37 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/kyso-flash-accidents-of-light-anthology-poetry-readingKYSO Flash Accidents of Light Anthology Poetry Reading with Elizabeth Kerlikowske, Kathleen McGookey, Linda Nemec-Foster, Amy Newday, Lynn Pattison and Robin Church reading for Melanie Dunbar at WMU Charles C. & Lynn L. Zhang Legacy Collections Center, Kalamazooo, Michigan, April 11, 2019 (Thanks to Jill Doster Marcusse for the photo)

]]><![CDATA[WYCE Electric Poetry]]>Sun, 21 Oct 2018 02:17:18 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/wyce-electric-poetry

I had a great time on WYCE's Electric Poetry, talking to Kelsey May Fraser about poetry and a few other topics. Check out the interview on WYCE's website if you get a chance.

]]><![CDATA[Thank you to Shelley Irwin for having me on the WGVU Morning Show]]>Thu, 18 Oct 2018 03:13:21 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/october-17th-2018

And I enjoyed speaking to WGVU's Shelley Irwin, as always, the morning of the event. One of these days I will take her up on her offer to get me into shape.

]]><![CDATA[Books & Mortar Reading, September 20, 2018]]>Thu, 18 Oct 2018 02:56:44 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/books-mortar-reading-september-20-2018

Thanks to Jonathan and Christopher at Books & Mortar, and to everyone who came out to enjoy the reading with Elizabeth Kerlikowske and me. I had a great time in a great venue with a fun and appreciative crowd. Special thanks to Andy Jentzen for driving all the way from Ypsi for the event and to Sue Thoms for the photo!

]]><![CDATA[New Year's Resolution 2018]]>Thu, 04 Jan 2018 01:55:30 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/new-years-resolution-2018
Four years between posts. You can't really call that a blog, can you?

If I’m going to be this neglectful, I can hardly get worked up about all of the Spam bot fan mail I’ve had to remove in the intervening years.

I imagine an alternate universe where I might have a relationship with the authors of such missives as:

“Another great post, I appreciate all the work you put into this site, helping out others with your fun and creative works.” –From Lipozene Reviews
“Hello ... I'm bringing 3 new people into my system this month and I thought you might be a good fit” –Anonymous
“How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? I wish to inform you that ECOWAS have been having a meeting with the IMF and UNITED NATION for the past 1 month now which ended yesterday in regards to innocent individual who have been a victim of scam…”—Didn’t catch the name

Me:

“Hey, your product sure sounds swell. How about if I trade you one of my poems for a tube of Lipozene, whatever that may be?”
“Wonderful! Sign me up right now. Without a doubt, I am a good fit.”
“Gosh, I don’t even know what to say! Give my regards to ECOWAS.”

Actually, I don’t even have to try that hard to imagine that alternative universe. Once, years ago, lonely and unemployed, I stayed up every night drinking cheap beer, eating beans, playing guitar and watching reruns of Hill Street Blues. About 3:00 am, an ad would come on offering free Mormon Bibles. I must have ordered 20 of them, and they sat unread on my shelves for years, along with the Big Book from AA.

It was September, the neighborhood boys had gone back to school, and we had had to discontinue the Whiffle Ball league I started. They were losing interest in the dog days of a 162 game season, and anyway, their parents didn’t much want them playing with a scruffy, unemployed guy. So, in my loneliness, I began to welcome Elder Matt and Elder Steve with a caffeine-free beverage every time they stopped by.

They were nice guys, fulfilling their Mormon mission years in the suburbs of Northern Virginia, of all places. I asked them why they hadn’t signed up for some place exotic like Tahiti, but then it dawned on me that they couldn’t drink and screw around anyway, so what difference did it make?

Such was my thinking at the time.

I don’t know if they were disappointed, resigned or just moved on to their next potential convert when I finally got another job and went back to work. I never saw them again, in the same way I haven’t watched Hill Street Blues since then, and that I have an aversion to canned beans. We didn't keep up through letters or anything, but I imagine they went on to very wholesome and productive endeavors. I don’t know what I finally did with all of those Bibles.

I did, however, get an actual fan email once, which I have archived to this day.

It was from a seventh-grade girl, who mistakenly sent it to me, instead of to her idol, Tim Hawkins, the Christian comedian. Or I should say, the real Tim Hawkins, the famous one, not this one.

“Dear Tim Hawkins,” she wrote. “Our teacher said we can do a research paper on anything and I choose to do you. I needed some more information on your Christian standpoint in life, your family, and upbringing. I am a big fan of yours. I love your comedy…It would mean a lot to get a response from you.”

I had to respond to such a heartfelt request, of course.

“Thank you so much for the note,” I wrote. "I’m really touched to have a fan. Anything that you want to know about me, my Christian standpoint in life, my family and my upbringing can be found in my autobiography. It is called Wanderings at Deadline and can be purchased with your parents’ credit card for just $14 on my website.”

All of this leads to my New Year’s resolution: Blog more, sell at least as many books this year as the number of Mormon Bibles I ordered, interact with some real human beings instead of Spam bots, consider changing my name from Tim Hawkins to Wesley Lexington Bainbridge III, keep avoiding Hill Street Blues and canned beans like the plague.

Elder Matt, Elder Steve, the Whiffle Ball league players, who, by now, must be nearly 40-year-old men with beer bellies and aversions to canned beans of their own. I miss you guys.

All the best in the new year.

That’s all I’ve got for now.

]]><![CDATA[Photos of Schuler Books Reading (4/24/13)]]>Fri, 07 Jun 2013 03:24:49 GMThttp://timhawkinspoetry.com/blog/photos-of-schuler-books-reading-42413Great turnout at the April Schuler Books reading. My thanks to Emily Stavrou for organizing and to all who attended. An independent bookseller in our community is something we need to cherish and support. I’m not sure how much longer there will be actual, printed books, but as long as we have them I will continue to buy them at Schuler’s and other independent retailers..

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